ATVs & Jet Skis (My Kids Will Be Jocks)

from The Great Heveron by Brian Heveron-Smith

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lyrics

I grew up tickling the ivories
Playing Ravel & Debussy
I didn't have time for hockey or football
I was aiming for Carnegie Hall

Still haven't made that Carnegie debut
And all these music dreams I outgrew
Sometimes I wanna smash my piano
And get a job selling sporting goods in ohio

I've worked for every children's theater company
And I spent way too many nights playing timpani
I wanna meet a corn-fed girl who doesn't need to live in cities
And we'll spend our days riding atvs & jet skis

ATVs & jet skis
I think I'm done, it's time to have some fun
ATVs & jet skis
Riding on dirt bikes, crashing into my house

And all of our kids will be jocks
I'll raise em to be champs
I'll put creatine in their tater tots
So they can runkickjumpover skateboard ramps

I'll give my children a very strict rule:
"Beat up the music theater kids at school"
No son of mine is singing Jason Robert Brown
Hell no you're not gonna play pipe organ

And my daughter will be really good at hockey
So good that they'll call her the next Wayne Gretsky
She'll make so much money shooting pucks at ladies
And my son might grow up to manage an Applebee's

Applebees & Gretsky's
Yea yea yea yea yea my kids will be jocks
Applebee's and Gretsky's
Because the arts are a gaping hell hole

I was always told that when I got older the jocks would be washing my car
I've never seen those jocks working at a car wash
The jocks all seem to have good jobs in finance or hotel management
They have cute dogs and they're reading Dan Brown novels

Economics classes, buying lacrosse balls
Only getting in to affordable state schools
College internship with my friend who's a CPA
Maybe when you're 40 you can try out painting
Buying real estate like your dad was never able to do
You're gonna learn so much from my CPA friend
He's awesome
Learn to code, be a doctor
Live your life, coach soccer
(I know one thing)
My kids will be jocks

credits

from The Great Heveron, released December 17, 2018

license

about

Brian Heveron-Smith Brooklyn, New York

New solo album The Great Heveron is out! Also check out my many albums of music from the web series Gayle.

My videos:
www.youtube.com/channel/UC-fdzympAmnctiOsqyuOFhA